Bonnie's Inner Adventure
I came to yoga because of the scoliosis I live with. Pain is a powerful motivator to be sure, and I was suffering. Doctors prescribed strong narcotics and recommended surgery, but I just couldn’t believe that there wasn’t a better way. So I began what I called my ‘journey of self-discovery’ in an attempt to find my own way. Little did I know how prophetic that term would be.
They say that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. This was definitely my experience although it was a process rather than an event. As I consulted massage therapists and acupuncturists, I also started practicing yoga with Patricia Walden’s Yoga for Beginners video. I can’t say the pain was greatly diminished yet but something was changing―that was for sure. Interestingly enough it was also at this time that the only yoga studio in my small town first opened. I was their first student.
Yoga was intriguing to me on a number of levels, but as a woman of science, I needed to understand both why my body hurt so much and how yoga was helping when other forms of movement hadn’t. I read a lot of books on yoga, anatomy, and physiology in those days. I thought I would discover the science behind it all. I did find greater understanding, to be sure, but what I learned went way beyond the physical. The more I learned the more I wanted to know. Unbeknownst to me, while I was so engrossed in trying to ‘fix’ myself others were learning from my process. There were several a-ha moments that solidified my decision to pursue yoga teacher training but the one that stands out was the day my massage therapist told me how she had shared my story with another client with scoliosis to inspire him. Oh, okay Universe. I get it now. This spine of mine can hold greater purpose than just to annoy me.
Taking my yoga practice to that next level through teacher training was what I needed, and I was forever changed by the experience. Yes, my back still hurts but the difference is that I can manage it now. I know that even though my back hurts I don’t hurt. My back is not who I am and I no longer feel that anything must be fixed. To have that burden lifted was truly miraculous. To quote BKS Iyengar, “Yoga does not just change the way we see things, it changes the person who sees”.
I have been lucky to have some amazing teachers in my life both on and off the mat. The thing about learning from someone who is authentic is that they have a way of taking you deeper into a subject than you thought you could go. I still read a lot of books on yoga, anatomy, and physiology. And more on philosophy… and pranayama…and ayurveda, and…well, you get it. The learning never stops and I love that. Partly this is due to who I am, but honestly, it is really due to the immensity of the subject. Yoga continues to give, to improve my life, and to improve me as a person and part of my community.